Mastering the Language of Influence

Poor communication is today’s number one problem at work, at home and in the world at large. Discords among people are frequent and can extend from small annoyances to intractable conflicts between nations. In order to influence people into action we need to understand not ONLY how we communicate with others, but also how they interpret that communication into action OR inaction for that matter. In this way, our improved communication can Increase Productivity, Improve Performance, Increase Revenue and Decrease Costs in any organisation.

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Training is the ability to understand, predict and influence human behaviour.

Hire for attitude – Train for competence – Coach for performance.

Many of us as leaders, in different contexts, often question, how we are able to establish a deep level of rapport and communicate effectively with others.

People are your greatest resource, and the level of your ability to create rapport, is the level to which you can effectively tap that resource!

Abraham Lincoln once said:

“If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend”

For a Leader, it is understanding the needs of our employees and empathizing with those needs. For the Sales person, it is understanding his/her customer needs and then tapping into the unconscious motivational trait of the customer. This in turn will strengthen the sale and obtain continuous business. For the Parent, it is understanding what motivates your kids and how to communicate to them more effectively by matching to their thinking preferences. In this regard, following figure explains one of many types of motivational techniques.

Action Motivation

For the HR Recruiter, it is understanding the needs of the Job and matching the motivational and attitudinal traits of the candidate to the job. Thereby making the best possible selection to avoid “Bad Hires” and thus saving the company from unnecessary losses. Rapport can then be defined as the ability to form a powerful common human bond and a relationship of RESPONSIVENESS, as you enter another person’s world, and help them feel that you understand and accept them. Identifying the Motivational and Attitudinal traits of yourself and others, allows you to communicate more effectively with them.

A handful of tools developed from NLP, allows us to evaluate the meta-programs of ourselves and others. They allow us to explore how we can change the way we communicate to influence others. We can use these teachings in a wide range of contexts as follows:

  • Recruitment and selection.
  • Job profiling.
  • Personal and organisational profiling.
  • Communication training.
  • Coaching.
  • Performance modelling.
  • Leadership development.
  • Interpersonal skills development on all levels in an organisation.
  • Customer service.
  • Team development.
  • Composition of high performance teams.
  • Change management.
  • Partnership matching

As Shelle Rose Charvet says in her book Words that change minds “Once you have identified the motivational and attitudinal traits of others it becomes a way of thinking about people and groups that allows you to notice and respond to how they get motivated and make decisions”.

Besides the traditional psychometric test, there are now new scientific and measurable behaviour profiling and Ecometric testing tools available to help us to understand human behaviour better in a given context. These assessments are the latest scientific development in understanding human behaviour, a new paradigm, a new way of thinking about people.

By adding these assessments to existing recruitment processes; training programs; performance and coaching approaches, management problems, such as demotivated employees; job-hopping; conflict and other interpersonal communication problems are addressed. Thus the greatest possible potential for optimum performance is created. These assessments does not necessarily replace existing training programmes, skills and processes, but rather complement them and add to their effectiveness.

As humans, we are constantly making guesses about what another person is thinking, feeling or wanting. We are making second-guesses on how they will react or what they will be doing. We know how many times we are wrong? That is why you need to be skilled in the art of reading and understanding people. This will make your interaction with them much more effectively.


  1. By Metwalli Abdelsalam


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